I don't want to be the problem anymore

I spent a part of my summer this year debating feminism with some friends. Sitting on a veranda in beautiful Hvar, these girl friends of mine passionately spoke about their point of view that women are still suffering from fewer opportunities in our day-to-day life. As they spoke, I could see that unspoken thought in our male friends' eyes: here go those man hating women on their rant again.

I carefully listened to what the girls had to say, but I couldn't relate. I have always considered myself a supporter of feminist movements overseas, as I believe women definitely do not have equal rights in developing countries, and that must change. Girls don't have the right to an education, girls are not accepted in families, girls are forced to marry young, girls face sexual and physical abuse. The list goes on. One only needs to look at all of the media coverage coming out of India recently to see that basic liberties for women just do not exist in these countries. But here, in the UK, I believe that I do have rights; I have the right to an education, to vote, to work, to have a child. I am paid as much, or even more, than some of my male counterparts. I can choose my own path. What more do I need? I have all of the opportunities that I need for success. Why do I need to be a feminist for my rights in this country when I have all of this going for me?

After Emma Watson's UN speech, however, I started thinking about it again. For some reason, her speech, and the ensuing debate, struck a chord with me. Maybe it was her call to unite with men to achieve this goal, or maybe it was her emphasis on gender equality on both sides. I finally started to see that, whilst we have progressed in women's rights in this country, the issue now is not about feminism in the way that it has been traditionally defined. The debate here is now about attitudes, not rights.

Our society has accepted certain things which, as a product of this society, I too have accepted, incorrectly. I have always accepted those casual comments defining a woman by how she dresses. I have always accepted the fact that sometimes I have to deal with lewd comments. I have always accepted the fact that I do have to try that little bit harder at work to ensure that my voice is heard. I have never really pushed back on that off the cuff comment: "She has done pretty well for a woman". I'm starting to realise that by accepting what society views to be okay, I have become a part of the problem. Part of a problem that I don't believe should be allowed to exist.

I always viewed the women's suffrage movement as having given me what I need to make it in this world, but now I'm starting to see that was just the start. Maybe now is the time for our generation to take it that next step. If we don't individually start to push back on these things when they happen, how will others ever learn that it's not okay to wolf whistle at a woman as she walks past? It takes each one of us to speak out to make a change. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi; "Be the change you want to see". Too many times I have hidden behind the thought: "Well that's just life". I need to stop hiding.

As Emma Watson said, this is not man hating. This is about both men and women working to redefine societal attitudes. I look at the change that the generations before us fought for on our behalf, from civil rights movements to even the right to choose, and I realise that our generation needs to move from apathy and acceptance. This is our duty to those yet to come into this world. And this need not end with new age feminism, but can extend to attitudes towards homosexuality, towards race, towards the uneducated. Let us not let our time pass us by, but let us use our time to redefine this thing that we call "just life".